Apparently you make a good broom.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
