do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
