I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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