My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
