So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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