I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You pole danced in your parka.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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