I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
