Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
