Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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