If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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