you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
