I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
