Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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