I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
