i don't like sucking hair
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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