Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
