We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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