Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
