I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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