the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
