...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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