please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
