I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
