she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
