he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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