I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
