i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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