You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
