so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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