We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
