the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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