Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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