It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
