I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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