how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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