we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
