Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just googled if crying burns calories
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
