Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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