East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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