hell yes lets make some ravioli
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
