I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
