I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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