just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
