Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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