I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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