Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we're making bets on your personal life
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
