Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
