Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
