I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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