Someone shit on the floor
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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