I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
